This last week was a tough week, but I learned a lot in this battle between me and my esophagus. I learned that I need to listen. It started last Friday with that amazing walk. What a high point that was for me mentally, but my body thought differently. It asked for two days to recover after the walk, but I didn’t let it. We had a full weekend planned and I wouldn’t let the exhausted feeling I had get me down. Well, the full weekend was followed by busy a Monday, and a very long Tuesday. Again I thought “I can do this.” Then Wednesday came. My son and I were invited to go to the local Children’s Museum with friends and even though I woke up with pain in both my body and my chest I thought: “we’re going. My son would love this, and I’m not going to let how I feel ruin this for him. He deserves to go and we both love seeing our friends.” Do you see the trend? I’m a bit stubborn like that. I’m competitive and I hate to lose. So in my mind I had this battle going against my body. It would not win, or so I thought.
I really should have listed to what my body was trying to say because I got a very big wake-up call at the Children’s Museum. My son doesn’t walk, he runs. He ran through that Museum, which meant of course that mommy ran through the Museum too. After about an hour, I hit a wall. My body said “no thank you, you are done.” Thank goodness that they had a 3 and under room with a half door that only opened from the outside. I steered my son to that room and sat with tears in my eyes. I was having painful spasms in my chest and was shaking like a leaf. I didn’t know what to do, so I drank an Ensure and prayed that the nutrients would absorb quickly and that I would find my strength. My son didn’t understand why mommy was upset and kept asking me to come and play with him. I couldn’t play. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do anything but sit there, defeated and heartbroken. The worst part of the whole thing is that moment could have been avoided if I would have listened to my body when it was telling me to slow down. It was trying to tell me for five days, but I didn’t listen.
Listening wasn’t the only lesson I learned this week. I also learned that I need accept myself for who I am at this moment. It is okay to have goals and to work towards the person I want to be, but I have to remind myself to love the person I am now otherwise I’m never going to get there. I may have limitations, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not a good person. I’m still a good mom, a good wife, a good friend. I can still be all the things that I strive to be. I just might have to go about them a little bit differently than I did before.
One of my favorite quotes is: “everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” I think this applies when we look at ourselves too. You may be fighting a battle right now. I hope you are kind to yourself. Give yourself a break, and don’t forget to listen. You may come across a set back or two in life, but you will get to where you want to go.
Hi there! Welcome to Grace In A Glass. My name is Danielle and I am so happy that you are visiting this site today. We all have something in life that we are working to overcome. I began blogging about my struggle with overcoming Esophageal Dysmotility and Crohn's Disease with the hope of reaching others with words of encouragement and hope. Thank you for letting me share my stories with you, and hope you have the most wonderful day!