Have you ever caught a glimps of yourself and thought, "man, I'm looking a little rough?" Well I just did, and I'm not surprised. These last four weeks have been pretty emotionally and physically draining. The weariness has most definitely started to show itself in the lines on my face and the circles under my eyes. They look more like pools really and the smeared remninse of yesterday's make up doesn't help either. But life's ups and downs come at you like waves and you can either embrace it and roll with it or get sucked under. It's your choice. Today I am embracing the fact that I am still in my pajamas and probably won't be getting a shower anytime soon. My little guy is sick and we've been spending most of the day snuggled up on the couch.
I honestly didn't know if I was going to be able to fully make it through our last hurdle. I really struggled with staying positive because I found myself overtaken by saddness and fear. I was afraid I was going to lose my husband. In the last four weeks my husband was diagnosed and treated for Testicular Cancer. Just hearing the word cancer was terrifying. It all happened so fast. He was having pain and hardening in the area and I made him an emergent doctors appointment. They told him that day that he had cancer. He is such a strong and stoic man, but I could tell that even he was concerned. I cried for two days before I could pull myself together. I really try to be strong and have grace and poise when facing difficult situations, but he handled this way one better than I did.
Within a three week period my husband had an ultrasound to detect the mass, blood work to determine his cancer markers, an x-ray and a cat scan to ruleout spreading, and surgery to remove the mass and effected organ. He was such a champ and took it one day and one test at a time. All I could do was pray, and I prayed, and I and prayed, and I prayed like I had never prayed before.
Now, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and I am not one to push my beliefs on others, but in this instance I prayed, our family prayed, our friends prayed, and I whole heartedly believe that God answered. During his follow-up appointment yesterday we learned that my husband's cancer was stage 1. They were able to remove it all and the doctor believes that it is unlikely that it will come back. We will meet with an Oncology clinic later this month, but they do not think that chemotherapy or radiation is necessary. We will do what's called "Surveillance" and he will have scheduled blood work, x-rays and cat scans over the next few years to make sure that there is no disease activity. If there is no sign of disease activity after 5 years he will be considered cancer free. If this isn't a blessing, I don't know what is! This is the best possible outcome that we could have hoped for and we are both incredibly thankful.
Now that we can breathe again, life is starting to return to normal. Of course all this stressed has kicked my Crohn's into full gear, but that's a story for another day.
I'm going to leave you with Psalm 118.10 because that's where my heart is today:
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good."
Good bye my friend.
Talk to you soon,
Hi there! Welcome to Grace In A Glass. My name is Danielle and I am so happy that you are visiting this site today. We all have something in life that we are working to overcome. I began blogging about my struggle with overcoming Esophageal Dysmotility and Crohn's Disease with the hope of reaching others with words of encouragement and hope. Thank you for letting me share my stories with you, and hope you have the most wonderful day!