We've made it a month. Since I wrote you last, I have have had 4 weekly injections of Methotrexate and I have completed two starter doses of Humira. Life has gotten back into the swing of things and we are starting to settle down into the new routine. This last month I have learned that my body does not like Methotrexate. In fact, it made me so sick that my Doctor, my Pharmacist (yes, I have my own through my IBD Clinic and feel very fortunate) and I opted to cut the dose in half. This made a huge difference. Instead of being sick 7 days a week, I am only sick for 3 days a week - 4 days if it is a Humira week, and with the help of Zofran for nausea, it is totally do-able. I don't feel very good, but I can manage! I even made it to my son's soccer game last week. That's a big deal!
Besides the fact that the Humira injections feel like a giant bee sting, I definitely prefer those over the Methotrexate. I'm excited though. My Doctor thinks that I will notice a huge difference in how I feel in 6 to 8 weeks after the initial Humira dose. That mean I should be feeling better by Christmas and maybe like a champ by my birthday, which is in January. Hopefully in 6 months I will be able to reach remission and get off of the Methotrexate. Let me tell you, that will be a great day!
One thing that I am having a really hard time with is my body image. When you have Crohn's Disease your body fluctuates. You lose weight and gain weight quickly depending on what stage your disease is in, if you are in active flare, and what medication(s) your are on. It's very rude. I learned the hard way that you should keep different sizes of clothing on hand because you will change so much. Squeezing into a tight pair of jeans when you are bloated and have abdominal pain is about the worst thing ever.
I was so discouraged this morning when I hopped onto the scale. I am the heaviest I have been in 3 years. I could feel my body changing again so I've been really trying to incorporate more fruits, vegetables, and lean meats into my diet. I even researched a meal plan that provides the proper number of servings and serving sizes for the calories that I need. I found that I have a very hard time eating everything. It is especially true on my rest and recovery days. I feel so sick on those days that all I want to eat is my "All-In-One" vegetarian protein shakes and rice cakes with peanut butter and honey. I'm always secretly afraid of what people will think of my weight changes and am often embarrassed. I don't want them to think that I am lazy or that I just don't care. I'm not lazy and I don't eat junk. I do like sugar, but I am super conscientious of what I feed my body. I haven't eaten a pastry or a piece of bread in 3 years. I don't even remember what toast tastes like.
My sweet husband noticed my distress this morning and kindly reminded me that this is the disease and once we figure things out it will be different. Of course my discouraged self said "we've been trying to figure it out for two years." To which he replied "yes. And we may have to figure it out for two more years, but that is okay. I still love you." He is right. My goal is not the number on the scale. My goal is to feel healthy again, to feel strong, and to be able to walk more than a mile - which even now is proving to be difficult. We'll get there, even it if it is one moment at a time.
Being a person who has to have goals, the Take Strides Walk for Crohn's Disease and Ulcerative Colitis is taking place in Seattle Sunday June 11th. My goal is to walk the 3+ miles this year. I am doing this walk, even if I have to finish in a wheelchair. Would you like to do it with me? I'd love to have you on my team! Just let me know!
Time has flown by this morning and I see we have almost reached the afternoon. I have a load of laundry that needs folding and I am going to attempt to clean the floors. Wish me luck!
Talk to you soon!
Hi there! Welcome to Grace In A Glass. My name is Danielle and I am so happy that you are visiting this site today. We all have something in life that we are working to overcome. I began blogging about my struggle with overcoming Esophageal Dysmotility and Crohn's Disease with the hope of reaching others with words of encouragement and hope. Thank you for letting me share my stories with you, and hope you have the most wonderful day!